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Dear Shawn,
I couldn’t undersand what you are trying to say. Could you explain better? Specially about Paul…what was his stance for marriage?
I don’t know why but I felt strange when you said: “Do not give up hope on love. It still has much to teach us and can widen our perspective so much!”
Perhaps tomorrow I will understand.
Love Gabriela
Dear Shawn,
You are totally right! I don’t know if you can see behind my words what is implicit and I could not perceive or if I am so explicit that you see the obvious I had not noticed. It doesn’t matter. The question for me now is not if I am married with the church, and I do think I am not, or if I want to live (as individual) like these great people from history have lived. I want to live only what they taught us.
The most important thing for me now is that I am thinking about it. When you said “Do not give up hope on love. It still has much to teach us and can widen our perspective so much!”, it hurts me. I do not even know why we are talking about this. If you have patience with me I will discover one important thing which is hidden. If not I will do my way and discover by my self.
I have just realized I invented too many stories to escape from this. I am telling this because today I went to my gynecologist and when I was coming there I remembered the cirurgy I did four years ago (mioma). Well, five days or one week after the cirurgy Thiago has his first crisis and everything began. I did not loose my uterus and I am alive, but do I lost something. Perhaps I lost this hope on love.
I am sorry if I am telling you such difficult things. Please, tell me if I am inconvenient. Be sure you are helping me. Your words always make me think and I trust you. I remember what you said about woman. Well, for me it is very difficult to trust a man and I don’t know why but I trust you. I can’t stop crying. My hurt heart thanks you.
Love Gabriela
Dear Gabriela,
I guess all I wanted to say is that I do not like the idea of being “married to the church.” For me, devoting your life to God or Jesus means following his laws; especially “love your neighbor as yourself.” This is often harder to do when you are married to a person and not a church.I did not want to be confusing, I just wanted to say that the really great people in history are not good examples for us to follow.
I have been having long discussions with Andrew from Liverpool. They are interesting and I will tell you how they come out.
Have a wonderful day.
Love ShawnDear Shawn,
These days I am very sensitive and intuitive. I am working on my PhD Project and this is more than an academic work for me, working on Plotinus is a “innerwork”. If you would be near me on this process you would see, or hear from me. It really touches my soul and changes it. That’s why I work on Plotinus.
I love hearing from your daughter Shana and from you!
I learn from your words and now I am just thinking what you said today.
Is Andrew the doctor from Liverpool? I would like to talk with him too. When I tried to find him he was gone, remember? Perhaps you can tell me what you are talking about… Or even we can talk together? Or I can send him an e-mail?
I am thinking about my soul-mate. Once I found him, I don’t know if I told you about him in Liverpool. I am happy just hearing his voice on the phone. I’ve just called him and answered the electronic secretary: I am happy to know his is alive, he is here on earth near me at the same time Well, it is a long story… His name is also João. He lives in Rio de Janeiro and we know we are soul-mates but each one has to live their own life. It is a very strong feeling. It is difficult to live so near and so far from him. Then I can also say I had had the pleasure of knowing that my soul-mate exists, and as you said “that is a huge gift in it self.
Thanks for remembering me about my soul-mate and also for the photo. Is that place near the Parthenon? I am going to Athens on September to another congress and of course I will go there, site there and contemplate remembering what you told me and you will be there with me.
Love Gabriela
Dear Shawn,
I think you are right in what you said about cancer. I just want to explain that fortunate I did not have a cancer. I had only a myoma which is not a cancer.
I can’t believe what you are telling me! I thought the same you said today when I read your e-mail yesterday about your daughter. Thinking about your relation with her I asked myself about my relation with Thiago and today when I woke up in the morning I realized that Thiago is always protecting me. I want to tell you one thing:
I was preparing myself to go to Easalen in California to study massage in 1983 when I discovered I was expecting a baby and I decided to have the baby, and to get married and so on. I was 22 years old. One day I thought that if I had gone there perhaps I would get a disease like AIDs because it was the beginning of AIDs and I don’t know how I would live my sexuality there. Then I realized (not yesterday, but once) that he protected me from myself. I was so young and had a family life when my friends were having fun, traveling, etc. I think at that time he was also protecting me.
It is difficult to accept the fact that he is always protecting me and made the decision to sacrifice himself in order to protect me before and after that surgery. He went with me to the hospital and slept with me the night before the surgery. I was alone, my mother was not there and when I enter to the surgery he was there and alone too. I think it was too much for him. He wanted to stay with me and we prayed that night and that morning together. I was afraid of loosing my uterus which was so important for me and he was afraid of loosing his mother. We were both together and alone. When I arrived home I needed a rest and he decided not leaving me sleep. And all had begun. I could not stand his reaction and he could not stand looking me on the bed.
Of course he was not well before the surgery while I was getting worst, ill. We are really close to each other but this is difficult for me to realize. He had lost the year at school and he was a good student but he could not wake up in the morning and then he had so many absences at school that he lost the year (could you understand? I don’t know how to say in English). This was very difficult for him. After this I got ill and had to make the surgery.
You are helping me so much. I think you say things nobody had courage to say until now. I didn’t have courage to say this to myself either.
I have much to think about…
Love Gabriela
Dear Gabriela,
It does not hurt me to discuss such things. On the contrary, I wish that people would let their soul speak, and that we could speak more about what really is important for our lives: how can we heal our broken soul? People talk about everything else, but do not search their soul for what is really bothering them, I know this personally!I thought that I would tell you a little more about my daughter Shana. I am not sure if I said all of this to you in Liverpool. We have raised our daughter with only one rule: “would you like it if someone did that to you?” I am amazed at how far this little girl has taken Jesus’ Law. She has become a little peace maker in her school and a protector of the weak. You have to understand why I say little. She was born on 15 Nov 1996 and her due date was 2 Feb 1997. She weighed 1300 grams. We spent 45 days with her in intensive care and I spent the first few days with her alone since she was miles from her mother’s hospital. It was during this time that I learned very much, and I saw plenty of sick babies during this time.
Shana could not wait to come into this world. That is her personality, but more interestingly, she is exactly the opposite of me, down to the six months difference in our birth dates. She is my spiritual dual. She is a much older soul than I and has come here to help me. She is only seven and she helped me in ways that I cannot even begin to explain.
It is amazing what you can learn from your soul (or someone else’s) when you are able to find that inner peace and go to the place where most people can achieve through injury or sickness. Doctors see some of the people who have been forced to listen to their soul in hospitals or clinics, but they do not know how to really help them. If your mind gets too much in the way of the development of your soul, it is God’s Love that gives the soul the quiet time that it needs and the ability to influence the body for the better.
I will try to re-tell the story of Socrates. As you know, most people do not even believe that he was a real person. But his father was a sculptor and he grew up as an artist. His given name was Myron; Socrates was the name that he was given as a great philosopher, not as a child. He was engaged to be married to Myrto, his (spiritual) friend of many years. But she was stolen away from him by one of the high ranking Dorian (pagan) Greeks. He had to suffer his whole life knowing that his soul-mate was living with this barbarian and that he would not be able to do anything about it. It was he who carved the 6 grazien at Erechthein in Athens in her image; six different poses of her.
We are not here to live in perfect harmony with our soul-mate; we have an eternity to do that in Heaven. But God finds the best place and situation for us to live in, so that we can heal our soul while we are on earth. If He gives us the pleasure of knowing that our soul-mate exists, that is a huge gift in it self.
I try to say things in my way, and I am happy to hear that it helps you sometimes. We all have a burden to carry. We just need to find the best way to carry it, and hopefully, find ways to heal our soul. A friend of mine, Teresa, always says: “tears are how we give our soul a shower, to clean it.”
Love Shawn
Dear Gabriela,
When I was praying for the sick today, a picture came to me that I thought I should pass along to you. Cancer is a disease that each person could have, but the doctors today do not know why one person gets it and the next does not. There are people who smoke for 30 years and never get lung cancer, and then there are others who were never even close to a smoker that end up with it.I know two nurses who have worked in different hospitals for at least 20 years each in the cancer section. They, more than the doctors, have spent enough time with the patients in order to understand the lives that these people have led and understand the stresses that are in their lives. When I sit and talk to these two women about my spiritual view, they begin to understand the deeper reasons why people end up with cancer; especially certain types of cancer. There seems to be a very close relationship between cancer of the sexual organs and the level of stress that exists between two people. This is not to say that every woman with a bad relationship ends up with breast cancer, but that cancer is only a symptom of something deeper, which actually causes the cancer to form. These two nurses will tell you many stories about women who made full recoveries once their husband left them. (If you take away the root cause, you will eliminate the symptom. This was the basis of Dr. Edward Bach’s work http://www.bachcentre.com )
With this I just wanted to have you think about what the real cause of your cancer was. This is the picture that I wanted to give: Thiago is protecting you from what ever it is that caused your sickness. He made the decision to sacrifice himself in order to protect you from it.
I just suggest that you meditate about this. The cause may have noting to do with what I said above. It could be something purely at the spiritual level; a sickness of your soul that he decided to carry for you.
Love Shawn
Dear Gabriela,
My brother and his family just arrived. They all have had a hard life. I hope that they can have a nice time while they are here. I would like to be able to help Kelly (17) because she has had the most problems, I think that she is also like your son.I had a meeting today with Gary, the priest that I was talking to you about. He wants me to start teaching within the church. I will have to think about this. I know that I need to get out in front of people often and tell them the hard things that they should think about.
Love Shawn
Ps. Tell me by email if you want to talk and I can call you sometime……
Dear Shawn,
Of course I want to talk with you!!! You can call me whenever you want. I just arrived home now and I could not look my emails today because I was at the office and the computer was broken there.
Tonight I will have a dinner at Contanças’ house. She is my neighbor and also a philosopher. She is receiving his friend from Athens, Prof. Moutsopoulos, a great philosopher who had written an important book about Plotinus. I have heard a lot about him, and tonight I will meet him. It is very strange because I thought I would meet him only in Greece in September but now he is here. Later I will write more.
I just want to say that I would be here and you can call me.
Love Gabriela
Dear Shawn,
I had just finished this email when you called me. I am so happy I could talk with you before traveling!!! I was again at Constanças’ house with her friends and I came home to make my suitcase and write this email for you. I have no words to say more… Now you can read what I wrote before your call.When I woke up this morning I was very happy! I was in peace. Not only because I had had a good evening with Constança and his friend, Moutsopoulos, but because I understood that everything is OK and in the right place. It is difficult to explain this feeling.
I remembered also that today it makes one month we first talked in Liverpool. I feel we are each day closer and this makes me also feel happy. I don’t have words to express these feeling in English.
I was trying to find our emails from the beginning and now I realize what you said about organizing them on your website. Sure it would be easier to read it whenever we want to. Thinking about this I understood that your website is as “your house” and you invited me to come to your “house”, to your place, first when you asked me to send my paper and later when you propose to write there. It was difficult for me to enter on this space but now I think I am prepared to do it. So I am sending my paper in English and Portuguese. If you would like to organize our correspondence there, please, do it. I don’t know how to write there, you can teach me or perhaps we can write on the outlook and then you can copy on the website. I would like to have access to them as you propose. Please, do let me know what to do about it.
I am going to the Monastery tonight. It is far from São Paulo so we have to take a bus at 23:50 and we shall arrive there about 8:00 in the morning. I will stay there for a week – four days with my research group from the University and three days alone. I just want to walk, contemplate, pray, and make handicraft. But I do have to prepare my PhD Project for the 13th August, then I hope I will read what a need to write the project.
You will be there with me in my heart and in my prayers. If you want you can send me a fax and I can answer by fax if you send me your fax number. The phone number there is 55 41 6281264. They will answer in Portuguese so, you have to wait until the end of second tone for the fax.
I hope you and your family will be fine. Have a good week!
Love Gabriela
Dear Shawn,
How are you? I hope you are OK…
I have arrived yesterday. Now I am working hard because it is the end of our winter’s holidays. I will begin my classes at the university today and I just want to say that it was marvelous at the monastery. Every time is new. Later I will write you more.
Here we have one single word to express when we miss someone. It is “saudade”. People say that this word exists only in Portuguese.
I felt “saudades”.
Love Gabriela
Dear Shawn,
It was a pity I was not at home when you called. I am also busy but not to write you some words.
You said you were sad. Like your daughter I don’t want you to be sad. Some times we can not avoid these feeling, then it is better to recognize and when we can do it things goes better.
I hope we can be near again and this can help us in our ways.
Love Gabriela
Dear Gabriela,
I tried to call you tonight. I have been very busy also. My brother and his family (2 girls 18 and 16) came to visit last week. We had a nice time, but the younger girl has been having the same types of problems that my brother had from the age of 12. She is burdened with anxiety, which I believe is caused by a spirit that is connected to her. We know from our teachings and from the bible that evil spirits can inhabit people, or at least bother them. There is always a reason for this, caused from a pervious life mostly. That is why it can affect even young children.Our house is a very peaceful place, but I was surprised about how many things went wrong while they were here. Some people might say ‘negative energy’, but I do understand what it is. I just am not sure how I am supposed to help her. We talked a lot about God, Jesus and our purpose here on earth, but I do not think she was happy talking about these things.
Her father was able to put aside his evil spirit a few years ago, but only after he had gone very wrong and tried to kill himself. He is starting to learn what it is that drove him to be so bad, and who it was who came to rescue him. He thinks it was Jesus, but I am sure it was one of His Angels. Jesus would be too busy if He had to personally save all of us!
I talked to my daughter today, and she said that I sounded sad. When I said that I was a little sad, she started to cry for me. She has such a big heart, for such a little girl! I wish I had a little of her love. So we all understand your “saudade”.
I called because I missed you too and felt bad for not having written in while. Being busy is not a reason to not write or just talk.
Love ShawnDear Shawn,
I am curious what you are talking about with Andrew and Edward. It is winter here and this year the weather is colder then others. In the Monastery (it is in the south of Brazil) it was colder then São Paulo. I prefer hot weather when we can wear less clothes, bare foot, and so on.
These days I am very sensitive. My experience at the Monastery was so strong I can not talk about it yet. I discovered something really special. Perhaps one day we can talk about it.
Love Gabriela
Dear Gabriela,
I appreciate our concern for me, but I am doing better. As I said, my brother’s family has some darkness following them, and they left some of that behind. It has taken a little while to get over it, but I think things are better now. I have been having an interesting discussion with Andrew and Edward. It might end up to be something interesting, I hope.I will give you a call soon. It is funny that talked about winter, I forgot that you are in the southern hemisphere.
Love Shawn
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